Back Home
by DreamerLia
Summary: Life after Mockingjay - Madge is alive and finds her way back to District 12, where everything is different... and yet still the same. Gale/Madge Katniss/Peeta
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: If Hunger Games belonged to me, so many characters wouldn't be dead. So no, not mine.**_

_**AN: This is my first published fiction, so please be gentle. Everything that happened in Mockingjay happened here (unfortunately). Except, Madge isn't dead. The body they found in the Undersee house isn't Madge. There will be flashbacks to make this a little clearer.**_

**Back Home**

**CHAPTER 1: Old Joy**

_"And you dream of the birds that have flown away_  
_And you hope that you won't see it fall again"_  
_(Noah and the Whale, "Old Joy")_

It's morning. I could tell from the gaps in our makeshift roof that the sun is up, and when I turn slightly, there is no one beside me. Luca and Kai are probably long gone by now, hunting and gathering for our next few meals.

I sit up and stretch, wincing at the ache on my back that never seems to go away. Even after endless nights sleeping on the ground, my body still yearns for the comfort of a soft bed it will probably never again have.

A wave of grief overcomes me at the thought of all the comforts I will never again have. Food I will never taste, books I will never read, people I will never see…

_CRASH!_

_I jump at the sound, but don't stop for longer than a second. My father is downstairs, so are the gardener Amos and the housekeeper Lora and whoever it is who charged in a few minutes after we heard District 12 is going to be bombed. They're all there, stuffing as much food as they can in bags, blankets, whatever supplies they can manage to find in five minutes – the absurdly short amount of time my father gave us before we're supposed to evacuate the house._

_There is no time to waste, no time to be scared. My mother is in the middle of one of her episodes – tucked in bed with the curtains drawn shut, barely lucid enough to recognize me when I peeked in two hours ago to give her breakfast._

_I fly up the stairs, hoping she is well enough now to at least stand on our own. Her attacks usually last several days, and it's only been two, but I don't know how we're going to make it out of the district if my mother is catatonic from medicine and pain._

_When I reach the second floor landing, I throw open the door without pausing. "Mother," I gasp – more out of fear than exhaustion. "We have to go."_

_There is no indication she heard me except for a slight shift under the covers and a barely audible groan. From experience, I can tell she wants me to leave her alone._

_My heart sinks. This is exactly what I was afraid of._

_No time to waste._

_I rush over and pull away the heavy blankets. "We have to go," I say, more urgently this time. "The town is burning."_

_She stares at me blankly for a second. Her eyes, sky blue and so lovely on regular days, are clouded and vacant. She turns away without saying a word._

_The curtains are drawn to keep out the light that irritates my mother, but I can hear the agonized screams outside, nearby._

_Frustration floods me at her indifference. I grab her shoulders and shake her violently. She whimpers in pain, but I don't care. "People are dying!" I shout, my eyes filling with tears. Please, please understand. "We have to get out of here, or we'll die!"_

_She's quiet for a few seconds, but to my intense relief, she nods. I have to practically force her into her robes and she doesn't have the energy to put one foot in front of the other, but it's fine. I place her arms around my shoulders and yank her to the door. It's going to be slow moving trying to outrun the destruction like this, but there's no other way._

_Almost there. I reach for the doorknob –_

_CRASH!_

_We collapse to the ground out of sheer force, and I know we are too late. The entire house shudders at the impact, and creaks, and sways._

_Beside me, my mother groans._

_No time to think._

_I push myself up, ignoring the sharp pain on my wrist where my mother landed. Dragging her behind me, I make my way out the door. The staircase is still in one piece, but the fire is already snaking up from the bottom. As we stagger down, I can see our house burning from every corner. It doesn't seem possible that only a few minutes passed since I ran up to get my mom._

_A strangled sob escapes my lips. "Dad?" I cry out desperately. I don't know how anyone is still alive in this blaze, but he HAS to be. "DAAAD!"_

"_Baby," a voice croaks from the living room. Or what used to be the living room. I can't make out anything through the fire, but it would have destroyed everything._

_I spin around as fast as my mother's weight allows me. The flames surround us now, I can see no way out._

_At the sight of my father, the mayor, I gasp. He is in even worse condition than my mother – limping, an ugly gash on his forehead, covered in blood and soot. His breaths come in short wheezes, and my heart constricts. It's hopeless; there's no way the three of us can make it out of the district. I can't carry two full-grown adults on my back for very far._

_An explosion from outside jolts me. The staircase squeaks and cracks, pieces of splintered wood falling at our feet._

_No time to think._

_I shift my mother's weight a little. "Put your arms around me Dad," I instruct, trying to sound as if I know what I'm doing. I don't, but there is a sliver of opening in the fire and we might be able to slip through before it's gone. It's not much, but it's something. Better than sitting here waiting for certain death._

_My father reaches over, but instead of holding me, he takes my mother._

"_You can barely walk," I protest, grabbing my mother's wrist. "I'll carry her, and you hold on to me."_

_A ghost of a smile appears on my father's lips. He pulls my mother to her, gently._

"_Dad!" I shout, frustrated. "Come on, this is no time to argue!" The flames are already licking our feet, we're about to lose our only chance to get out. Panic threatens to consume me, but I push it back._

"_Madge," he says. His voice is raspy, but his words clear. "I'm fine. Lead the way, we'll be right behind you." He thrusts a small pack at me. "Here, carry this instead."_

_I stare at my father's dark blue eyes. Something in my gut tells me something is wrong, but my father smiles reassuringly, telling me it's okay. And at this moment, I want nothing more than to believe everything is okay, will be okay._

"_All right," I agree, taking the pack and turning towards the back door, probably our best chance of escape._

_I face my family again. "Stay as low as you can, okay?" I tell them, remembering our fire drills at school._

_My father nods. "I love you Madge."_

_It's a bit odd to get into sentimentalities right now, but automatically I answer, "I love you too." I take a deep breath. "Let's do this."_

_I dart into the roaring flames, ignoring every instinct in my body to recoil back out. The heat burn my skin, and I feel the flames scorch my clothes and my long blonde hair, but I don't stop. My eyes water from the smoke, and I can barely see. Running blind and trying not to breathe, I stumble forward wondering if I led my family to death sooner, instead of saving them. My lungs are straining. I'm about to pass out…_

_Just as I think I'm about to give up, I catch sight of something – I'm not quite sure what, but it was something other than the fire. With one last burst of energy, I sprint towards it, and is rewarded by the sudden relief of fresh air – as fresh as air can be in a district that's being bombed._

_For a moment, I stand there gasping for breath. I am so relieved to be out of the inferno that I remember my parents only when a mother runs past me, holding a baby in her arms._

_Hoping against the sinking feeling in my gut, I turn to face our two-story house…_

…_just in time to see it collapse to the ground, the fire rising to the sky higher._

"_NOOOOOOO!"_

"Good morning," a deep voice jars me out of my reverie. "You missed the hunt."

I startle, and then stick my tongue out when I see Luca smirking at me. He knows how much I hate hunting. I would never turn my nose up at a bowl of rabbit stew or squirrel meat, but the sight of animals dying makes me sick. The first time Luca and Kai brought me along the hunt, I managed to send an arrow through a rabbit's shoulder – and then I spent two days trying to nurse it back to health. The poor thing died anyway and the meat filled our perpetually hungry stomachs for lunch, but I never go hunting with them anymore. Luca still tries to get me to come once in a while (says I have potential with the bow), but Kai knows better than to let me.

"I wanted to wake you up but Kai wouldn't let me," Luca continues, shuffling inside the shabby hut we managed to make after it became apparent that this arrangement – three kids in the forest – could very well be permanent. "And it's good because now we have a surprise for you." He wiggles his eyebrows at me, making me laugh.

"What is it?" I ask. I love surprises. Then something occurs to me. "It's not anything dead, is it?"

As a prank, Luca once snuck home a small mouse he found dead on his snare and left it near my stuff – the few belongings inside the pack my father gave me before I ran out of our burning house. Needless to say, it wasn't a very nice surprise, so it is more than understandable that I'm suspicious when Luca brings home a surprise.

Luca chuckles. "Not this time Madge. You'll see when Kai gets here; she's just at the river, getting some water."

Guilt washes over me – fetching water is supposed to be _my _chore. Luca and Kai are both a year younger than me, but in many ways, they're more mature and experienced than I feel I will ever be. I try to contribute as much as I can, but even I realize that the division of labor in our little group is hardly equal.

I scramble to my feet and rush out the hut. If I hurry, maybe I could reach the river before Kai finishes filling up our bottles.

"Oomph!"

In my haste to get to the river, I don't notice Kai about to walk into the door, carrying the bag we use for gathering fruit and a few bottles of fresh water.

"Hey Madge!" she says brightly. "Where are you off to?"

"I was just on my way to you actually. I'm sorry you had to get water; I promise I'll do one of your chores later. I could…" my voice trailed off and I frown. Obviously, they're done getting food and water. We don't really have a lot of other chores – one of the very few perks of living in the middle of the freaking forest. "I could wash your clothes for you."

Kai snorts. She probably doesn't really care if her clothes are filthy. Growing up at the Seam, she's used at having everything covered with a thin layer of coal dust. "Don't worry about it. Besides, it's your birthday!"

I blink at her. _What?_ "No it's not." My birthday is on March 11, and it's… well, probablynot March 11.

"How do you know? We don't know what date it is," Kai points out, sounding convinced of her logic. "It could very well be your birthday Madge."

That doesn't even make much sense. I tell her this, and Luca barks out a laugh from across the room. "Is Kai really someone you would expect good sense from?"

"Hey," Kai pouts. "I worked really hard to get your birthday surprise, so you should be nice to me."

"Worked hard?" Luca repeats skeptically. "That's not what I call stupidly walking into a…"

My ears perk up, and I can't help feeling a little concerned. Kai is like a cheery version of my old friend Katniss Everdeen – loyal, strong and just a little bit crazy. But while Katniss' recklessness usually has good reasons (survival, familial duty, love), Kai's is often borne out of the desire to have fun. Trying to catch a wild monkey with her bare hands (she wanted a pet), attempting to swing from tree to tree using vines just to prove it can be done (it can't), hunting at night to catch the animals in their sleep (we didn't catch one) – all those were for just for fun. I feel like I've aged ten years trying to keep Kai in check, but I can't say I don't admire Kai's fervor for life, especially considering she grew up with practically nothing.

"It doesn't matter," Kai interrupts, beaming at me. "How I got your surprise. You're going to love it anyway."

It's impossible not to catch her enthusiasm. Even though she probably risked her life _again _for a birthday present I don't even need, she looks so pleased with herself that I can't help smiling back. "Well, what is it?"

Kai holds out our vegetable bag at me dramatically.

I glance at Luca questioningly, wondering what I'm supposed to do. It's not that I was expecting a birthday pie and sweets, but I don't see what's so _surprising_ about them bringing me cattail and acorns. Luca nods encouragingly, so I reach for the bag.

"Thanks Kai," I say. "This is really thoughtful."

She rolls her eyes at me. "Open it Madge."

Peering inside, I wonder if living in the middle of nowhere has finally gotten the best of my friend. Until I see dozens of the familiar pink fruit that lie inside the vegetable bag.

"Strawberries!" Kai exclaims excitedly. "I found bushes of them just past our creek, and then I remembered you said they're your favorite." She's talking right by my ear, but she sounds miles away. Maybe I'm the one who's transported somewhere else.

I stare at the berries inside. It's a generous bunch; I can tell Kai tried to stuff as much of the fruit inside the bag as she could. She's right, strawberries _were_ my favorite, but not for the reason she thinks. Back home, Katniss and her best friend Gale Hawthorne used to sell me strawberries whenever they could scrounge up some. It was just a couple of handfuls each time, but I saved a big portion of my allowance for it – fresh fruit is a luxury very few people in District 12 can indulge in. I never refused Katniss and Gale though, partly because I know how much the money helps feed their families, but mostly because I didn't want Gale to stop coming to my house. My throat tightens at the thought of Gale.

"Madge?" a concerned voice slices through my thoughts. Luca.

Looking up, I met Kai's anxious gray eyes. "Do you like it?" Kai asks, worry coloring her voice.

I don't hesitate. Whatever strawberries may mean for me, Kai's gesture is sweet. "I love it," I declare, trying to smile as widely as I can. It feels like a grimace, but if my friends notice they don't let on.

Kai breathes a sigh of relief, but she searches my eyes for a moment. Finally she observes, "You looked so sad." For all her cheeriness, Kai can be incredibly perceptive when she wants to be.

"It's nothing," I hasten. "I was just, remembering."

No one answers, but I know they understand. We have no defense against memory; all of us have bouts of "remembering" once in a while.

It's stupid that the memory of Gale still affects me the way it used to when it's unlikely that I'll ever see him again. Even back in District 12, my chances with Gale were nil – the boy has a perpetual scowl on his face whenever I'm around. I didn't think the odds could get worse for my unrequited love story, but now…

"I think strawberries will go well with lunch today," Luca breaks the silence and holds up a carcass of a poor squirrel.

Kai wrinkles her nose daintily at him. "Gross Luca, you're not supposed to bring that inside."

"Like you care," Luca scoffs, thrusting the dead animal at Kai's face.

"Maybe Madge is rubbing off on me," Kai defends. She swats the squirrel away, sending it smack into Luca's cheek. She bursts into laughter at the sight, saying conversationally, "You know Madge, they call that karma in some parts of Panem."

I manage a faint smile to let her know I'm listening, but I am not in the mood for bantering. Thankfully, both of them seem to be in top form today, so my input is hardly needed.

Luca growls at Kai, but he's holding back his own laughter. "Very funny. Just for that, I'm going to let you cook this little guy here by yourself." He tosses the animal in Kai's direction, probably aiming for her head.

Kai snatches it from the air, rolling her eyes. "It's just like you to leave the work to the women. I feel sorry for the poor girl who's going to end up as your wife."

"I worked enough hunting that squirrel down baby," Luca drawls. "And when we get married, you'll be so _satisfied_ you'll want to do the work," he emphasizes, wiggling his eyebrows at Kai suggestively.

"You're disgusting," Kai states, a blush staining her cheeks.

I can't help biting back a small smile at the sight. As far as I know, the two of them have never even held hands. But you would have to be blind not to see how crazy they are for each other. A lot like Gale and Katniss. My smile fades.

_This is Luca and Kai you're looking at,_ I remind myself. _Not Gale. Not Katniss._

She marches past him, stopping to look back at me. "Madge, do you want to come?"

"Actually," I clear my throat, hoping they won't ask much questions. "I'm thinking of taking a bath."

"Right now?" Luca asks skeptically. Kai and I usually bathe by the creek in the afternoon, after the harsh heat of the midmorning sun has passed.

I nod. Luca and Kai exchange a look, but I ignore them and begin gathering the things I need for my bath. We've long used up all our soap, but Luca discovered a kind of lily that works just as well.

"Do you want company?" Luca slings a long arm around my shoulders. "Because I'd gladly…"

"Luca," Kai interrupts as I try to wriggle my way out from Luca's grasp. "Leave her alone. You're making her nauseous, see?"

He shrugs and drops his arm, saying, "I'm just being a gentleman."

The quiet of the woods provide me the solitude I seek, so I walk past our usual river and make my way to a smaller creek further down. It's a long walk, further than I expected, but I don't mind. Months of living in vast wilderness made my legs strong, and my thoughts are occupied with strawberries, coal miners and old friends the whole time.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: If Hunger Games belonged to me, so many characters wouldn't be dead. So no, not mine.**_

_**AN: I am so so sorry for leaving this for YEARS. I won't be making excuses, just promises: I'll be updating this more frequently now. Thank you to those who read the first chapter and liked it, I appreciate it and I only hope this next one does not disappoint. In this chapter, Madge gets lost... and maybe found.**_

**Back Home**

**CHAPTER 2: Cast No Shadow**

_"Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say_  
_Chained to all the places that he never wished to stay"_  
_(Oasis, "Cast No Shadow")_

I love Luca and Kai like siblings I've never had, but I welcome the relief that comes from escaping their company today. This is one of the bad days – it comes more rarely these days, but when the nostalgia hits it is also much more painful.

The first few weeks in the woods were a blur of desperate survival and mechanical action. Back then, there was no time for reminiscing, or even grief. Making our way deep into the forest for safety, hunting and foraging, and finding and eventually building shelter took up most of our trio's time, energy and attention. Trauma set in as soon as we've adjusted to our new life: nightmares, tears and sometimes even blind fury were not uncommon among Luca, Kai and I. We consider each other family even in the early days, but we did not attempt to comfort each other: our anguish was beyond comforting and even trying seemed to trivialize everything that's happened.

"A Peace Keeper shot my father in the head in front of me before the bombings," Luca once told me matter-of-factly as he held a rabbit over a fire. "And then took away my mother. I haven't seen her since."

"I'm sorry," I had answered, feeling conscious because my words neither captured how _sorry _I felt for my friend – no, brother – nor helped him one bit.

"She's probably dead," he had shrugged, turning away and effectively ending the conversation.

Surprisingly, the unspeakable grief that used to be so overpowering eventually faded to a quiet melancholy. I tried to keep the memory of my parents alive by remembering a few times a day but even their faces are becoming worn and unclear, like discolored photographs that ultimately fails the test of time.

As I walk, I try to conjure up the image of our grumpy housekeeper Lora, to no avail. Her face is gone from my mind, but specific details come back to me in spurts: her calloused hands rubbing my back when I'm sick, or the distinct rasp in her voice when she calls me "Miss Madge", or the words she used to describe her daughter ("a dimwit with the voice of an angel").

I get so lost in thoughts about old Lora that I don't notice how long I've been walking until a squirrel darts past me causing me to stop in my tracks.

I look around, surprised to see I've apparently wandered into unfamiliar territory – something that never, ever happens. Despite our time in the forest, I am still very much wary of it and choose to stick with my friends when exploring new parts of the woods. Once a townie, always a townie I guess.

Except now.

I curse myself for letting myself get distracted, glancing behind me to see if I've been following some sort of path. There is none, _of course_. There are no paths in this part of Panem.

_'If I walk back I'll eventually get back to the house,_' I reason to myself as I head in the direction from where I most likely came from.

After about twenty minutes of attempting to retrace my steps, the effort proves to be futile as it becomes apparent that it is exceedingly difficult to walk in a straight line in the wilderness. I'm convinced I'm walking around in circles and fear creeps in that I will never find our shabby little home again.

I do my best to stifle the panic, but after a while every step seems ominous. I am just about ready to scream when I stumbled into a small clearing.

This is disconcertingly familiar. I try to recall if I've been here with Luca and Kai, but I can't distinguish one day from another during our first few weeks together let alone identify a lone clearing from others.

Weary, I make my way to a low cliff that looks over a small patch of the forest. I settle on the ground, deciding this is a good place to rest as any. The picturesque view makes me feel a tiny bit better about getting lost and I console myself with the thought that if I don't make my way back to camp, maybe I'll just live here. Hunting is undesirable but I can do it if I have to, or I can eat berries for an indefinite period of time. 'I'll get by until Luca finds me,' I decide, not without logic for Luca is an accomplished hunter.

The sun is high, it must be a bit past noon, and the heat is making me drowsy. My stomach growled insistently, but I hadn't thought to bring food so a nap seems like the next best thing to do…

_"Your arms are trembling," Katniss observes. "Use your whole arm, not just your wrist."_

_What she said made little sense to me, but I try to imitate the way she was holding her beloved bow._

_"The string should be under your chin, and keep your feet apart," she instructs. She watches me struggle and says, "No, see."_

_My arms are killing me so I lowered my bow and watched Katniss. She is completely in her element here in the forest. I won't say she looks happy exactly, but it's the first time I've seen my friend so at ease and relaxed in her environment._

_"Wow," I blurt out, when she releases an arrow and hits a tree in the distance._

_"You'll be able to do that too with a bit of practice," Katniss assures me. "It's not that hard."_

_I shrug. Anyone could see Katniss had a natural talent with the bow and arrow, but God forbid anyone tell her that. The girl is almost delusional in her self-deprecation._

_"Gale is better at hunting and snares but he doesn't like shooting arrows much," she continues, unaware of the blush on my face at the mention of her best friend._

_"Oh," I answer nonchalantly. It's hard to appear nonchalant when you're flaming red, but Katniss seems to take it for exhaustion because she soon suggests a break._

_"I know a great spot," she tells me and leads me to a low cliff just beyond the clearing. The sun is about to set, giving a vibrant tinge of orange in the cluster of trees below. The forest seems abuzz with life; even if it all takes place out of my sight, I can feel the movement all around._

_We've never been a pair for speaking, Katniss and I, even when we shared a table in the school cafeteria in the midst of rowdy teenagers. Katniss is stoic and prefers to display her strength in action much more than words, while I am shy and protective of myself and my parents' life. Katniss and I both understand the value of peace and quiet. It is why we are friends and in that quiet corner in the woods, we fall in comfortable silence once more._

"MADGE?"

The loud shout rouses me from sleep and I am instantly awake, jumping up to face the intruder who somehow knows my name. In that split second, I think that if the person is an attacker, all I could do is throw myself off the damn cliff and hope for the best.

_'It's not too high,' _I note hopefully.

My mouth drops open.

"Katniss?"


End file.
